Scientists Also Laugh / Ученые также смеются


Einstein for a Day

Albert Einstein is one of the world’s most brilliant and respected scientists He is known for formulating the theory of relativity, which played a critical role in the development of atomic energy. Einstein had a fine sense of humour.

There ’s an amusing story about how Einstein was travelling to universities in a chauffeured car, giving lectures on relativity. One day the chauffeur said “Dr. Einstein, I’ve heard this lecture about 30 times. I know it by heart, and I bet I could give it

myself.” “Well, I’ll give you the chance,” said Einstein. “They won’t recognize me at the school. When we get there I’ll put on your cap, and you introduce yourself as me andgive the lecture. ”The chauffeur gave Einstein’s lecture without a single mistake. When he finished, he started to leave, but one of the professors stopped him to ask a complex question. The chauffeur thought fast. “That problem is so simple,” he said. “It’s a surprise that you’re asking. In fact, to show you how simple it is, I’m going to ask my chauffeur to come up here and answer your question”.

  • Albert Einstein, who fancied himself as a violinist, was rehearsing a Haydn string quartet. When he failed for the fourth time to get his entry in the second movement, the cellist looked up and said, “The problem with you, Albert, is that you simply can’t count”.
  • The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is likea very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat. (Albert Einstein)
  • Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. (Albert Einstein) French physicist Ampere (1775–1836) had two cats, one big and a one small, and he loved them very much. But when the door was closed cats couldn’t enter or exit the room. So Ampere ordered two holes to be made in his door: one big for the big cat, and one small for the small cat.
  • You Might be an Engineer If ...  Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is amoral dilemma.  Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room. You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel. You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance. You know what http:// stands for. You see a good design and still have to change it. You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring. You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it. Your laptop computer costs more than your car. You’ve ever tried to repair a $5 radio. You’ve already calculated how much you make per second.
  • Computer Terms State-of-the-art – Any computer you can’t afford. Obsolete – Any computer you own. Microsecond – The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete. Keyboard – The standard way to generate computer errors. Mouse – An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate. Floppy – The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer. Portable Computer – A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
  • An engineer, a physicist, and a computer scientist were discussing what was the oldest profession. The engineer claimed priority. “Look at all that matter engineered into amazing constructs like galaxies, stars, and planets”. The physicist disagreed. “Before there were planets, the matter had to be made from chaos. Physics is responsible for all the quarks, gluons, photons, and electrons”. The computer scientist coughed modestly. “Ah, but where do you think the chaos came from?” What’s the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? – Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
  • One day a professor was discussing a particularly complicated physics concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, “Why do we have to learn this pointless information.” “To save lives”, the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted. “It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school”, replied the professor.
  • Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. It’s a hardware problem.
  • Seen on the door to a light-wave lab: “Do not look into laser with remaining goodeye.”
  • Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.
  • A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
  • Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
  • In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.